A few days before our daughter's third birthday, we made her a book about a birthday she had not had yet. She had been asking to go to a theme park, the plan was to finally take her, and so that is what went in it: the dress, the gates, the rides, the cake at sunset. We handed it over early on purpose, to build the excitement.
That is one of three ways to do this, and the timing changes what the book is. Given before the birthday it is a rehearsal of the day they are about to have. Given on the day it is a story about whatever they love most right now. Given after, built from a photo taken on the day, it is a record of the birthday they actually had. All three work. We picked the first one and would pick it again, but it is not the only right answer.
Is a personalised book a good present for a three-year-old?
Yes, and it is one of the few presents at that age that outlives the day. The pull is recognising themselves, and that does not wear off the way a new toy does, so the book keeps getting pulled off the shelf long after the wrapping paper is gone.
In our house the pattern has held for every book we have made her. Each one becomes the most-read book we own for as long as the obsession behind it lasts, then she cycles back to the older ones months later. The books outlast the obsessions. If you want the longer version of that, we wrote up how many personalised books one child actually needs.
The catch is that a birthday makes people reach for the wrong subject. Asked what a birthday book should be about, most of us say "her birthday", and picture a cake, some candles and a banner. That is a card with a spine. Nothing happens in it.
Should you give a personalised birthday book before the birthday, on the day, or after it?
All three work, and they produce genuinely different books. Pick the one that matches what you want the book to do: prepare them for the day, mark the day, or keep the day.
| When you give it | What the book is | What you need to make it |
|---|---|---|
| The week before | A rehearsal of the day they are about to have, so they arrive already knowing the shape of it | The one thing they have been asking to do, and roughly how the day runs |
| On the day | A story about whatever they love most right now, with the birthday as the reason for it rather than the subject | Their current obsession, and nothing else |
| After the day | A record of the birthday they actually had, in order, with a beginning and an end | A photo from the day itself, so they are drawn in what they actually wore, plus what actually happened |
The third one is the one people do not think of. You can make a personalised book about a birthday that has already happened. Upload a photo taken on the day and the character is drawn in the party dress, the face paint, the haircut they had that week. Then you describe what actually went on, and you get the day back as a story your child can follow, rather than four hundred photos nobody opens. If the birthday has been and gone, you have not missed anything.
Why we gave ours before the birthday
Because a three-year-old cannot picture a place she has never been, and a book can show her. She had only seen a theme park from a distance, so the whole day was an abstraction until it was a run of pictures with her in them.
The book gave her something concrete to hold: you will wear the dress, there is a horse that goes round, you get to blow out three candles. That was the point of handing it over early rather than wrapping it.
If your child is the sort who gets overwhelmed by a big day, that is the argument for going early. If they are the sort who would rather be surprised, wrap it.
What did we put in our daughter's book?
Ten scenes, and only two of them are birthday scenes. One page of cake, one page of walking home, and eight pages of an ordinary day out.
It starts at home, getting ready, and ends with the three of us walking back out at dusk holding hands. In between is the day itself: the gates, a carousel, a ride we all squeezed onto together, fairy floss on a bench. She had told us she wanted to be a princess, so she is in a tiara for nine of the ten pictures, including the ones on the rides.
The cake is second to last, three candles, her mid-blow. Look at the proportions. Eight pages of an ordinary day out, one page of cake, one page of going home. That is the proportion we would aim for whichever timing you pick. The birthday is the reason for the book. It should not be the subject of it.
What should go in a birthday book for a child turning three?
The day itself, in order. Not candles in the abstract: the specific thing your child has been asking to do, or did, and the ordinary parts around it, from getting dressed in the morning to walking back out at the end.
At three you can just ask them, and that is what changes. Ours told us she wanted to be a princess, and she told us where she wanted to go. Both went straight in. A two-year-old's book gets assembled out of what you have noticed about them. A three-year-old will tell you.
Three things worth asking for:
- The one thing they keep bringing up. Not the party, something inside it. Ours was a theme park she had been asking to go to.
- What they want to be that day. Dressing up is half of it at this age, and it will carry the whole book if you let it. The tiara is in nine of our ten pictures.
- What they think is going to happen. Ask them how the day is going to go. A three-year-old's version of it is shorter and stranger than yours, and it is the version they will recognise on the page.
The ordinary parts fill in around those. Getting dressed, the trip, the walk home. Those are the pages that get read the most, and they are the ones nobody thinks to ask for.
If you are making the book after the birthday, you skip the asking. You were there.
Which kind of personalised book works as a birthday present?
Only the fully-custom kind can be about this particular birthday. Name-only and attribute-based books put your child into a story that already existed, which is a different and smaller thing than a story about the day they are about to have, or just had.
We went through the four kinds properly in the buyer's guide and scored them on being the main character in a separate post. The short version for a birthday: if the story was written before anyone knew your child existed, it cannot be about their birthday, whatever name is printed in it.
There is research showing that toddlers carry a newly learned word from a picture back to the real object more readily when the picture resembles the real thing than when it is a stylised cartoon.1 That is a narrow finding about words and objects, not about faces or birthdays. But it points the same way: the less a child has to translate between the page and the world, the more of the page comes with her.
When should you order a personalised book for a birthday?
Books arrive in 7 to 10 business days in Australia and 10 to 14 in New Zealand, tracked. If you want the printed copy in hand for the day, work backwards from the birthday and order about three weeks ahead in Australia, four in New Zealand.
That leaves real room rather than landing on the last safe day. And if you are reading this the week of the birthday, or the week after, the after-the-day version is right there and it is arguably the better book anyway, since you will be writing from what happened instead of guessing.
One more reason to start early: you read the whole book, your child in it, free, before you pay anything. So you can start it tonight, look at the ten pictures, and only then decide about printing. If the day out you were planning falls through, you will know before you have bought a thing.
If your child is younger than ours and you are not sure any of this lands yet, what age these books start working goes through it age by age.
A note on how we make them
We are Almia. Every one of these books is built from scratch around the child it is for. It is the only way this particular book could exist: a tiara that stays on through every ride, a purple frog on a rail, three candles at sunset. Nobody keeps that on a shelf waiting for an order.
The plain specifics: hardcover, 26 pages, 170gsm silk paper, matte-laminated cover, from A$59.95 plus delivery. Dispatched in 5 to 7 business days, tracked. We currently deliver to Australia and New Zealand, with global delivery on the way. And you read the whole book, your child in it, free, before you pay anything.
She is three now. The present and the day do not have to be two separate things. Put the day in the book, then pick your moment: before it, to build the excitement; on it, to mark it; or after it, to keep it.
Frequently asked
Should you give a personalised birthday book before the birthday, on the day, or after it?
Can you make a personalised book about a birthday that has already happened?
Is a personalised book a good present for a three-year-old?
What should go in a birthday book for a child turning three?
When should I order a personalised book for a birthday?
Ellen & Diego, Founders of Almia
